Things That Should Die With This Gen - The Bear and Badger

afgavinstan

As it says up there. The things that came to prominence during this generation, but you just wish would fack orf. It can be anything game-related, such as a game, a franchise, a peripheral, a company, a game mechanic, a word, a whatever! Just looking for some LIGHT-HEARTED fun as we poke away at the things that we/you think should be in Console Generation Five's Room 101. God, that show got a bit shit, didn't it? Maybe it was always shit. I dunno.
Anyway, I'll get things going with a few obvious choices, and a few not-so-obvious-what-the-fuck-are-you-on-about-Gav ones.

(Please, this is supposed to be fun. Any negativity and bitching can be left at the door.)

This Thread - Before anyone else does it. Lool.

Trigger Extensions - I don't think I've hated myself more this generation than when I actually felt the tiniest buzz of excitement as I opened the package from Play.com to get my trigger extensions. Once I clicked I remembered how much I hated the fact they had to exist to make the Dualshock more manageable, and the fact Gioshock had capatilized on the shitrigger situation so quickly, they felt they could charge £2.99 for them. Fuck you, Ken. Hope your yacht is nice you fuck.
Okay, maybe I hated myself more buying X-Blade. I'm kidding, Andy! I've never bought it..

Online Passes - Not down to some chest-beating consumer righteousness, more down to the fact they made my job a bit of a dickache from time to time. But they're (almost) gone now. Yay! Woo! Fight the POWA!

Assassin's Creed - It can seriously get to fuck. Every year, another slo-mo CGI soundtracked-by-90's-house TV ad comes on, and makes insane people dribble to the point they hand over £40 for another collecta-staba-thon. Yes, it looks pretty, but once you climb up one tower, it goes downhill from there. I'm done with it. I'm done with the excitement over it. I'm done with people IRL asking me if I'm excited about it. Done done done. Go away. (kisses to all that super love it, i'm only playing xxxxxx)

Games That Save Your Progress After The 'Press Start' Screen - Forza 2! Baby! Hey, you know I love you, right? You know I wouldn't ever hurt you, right? But see, the thing is, you're making me look silly in front of my friends here. And that makes me mad. And we know what happens when I get mad, don't we?! Ahhhh, god, I've never got my head round this. All I'm saying is "here and present, miss/sir", I doubt the console is gonna explode! Well...

Excessive Amounts of 'Special Editions' - Ubisoft, step right up! These guys must've used their bookmarked pages from the thesaurus.com entries for 'dangerous' and 'tactical' so many times across the 8,471 editions of Things they've released this gen. "But if you pre-order with us, we give you an X-CLUSIVE character skin!!"
Aye, cool. Fuck off. It also (again) just makes my job a bit of a fucker if someone tries to trade one in, as they're not all on our system. Yes, I'm being picky here, but fuck you and your pirate costume.

Kickstarter - Ahem.

The word 'Roguelike'. - I don't understand the question, so I won't respond to it.

Right, I need to go now. Please, can we leave the "yeah well I have to disagree winky winky" fake-civility-which-then-turns-into-the-usual-hostility bullshit to one side? Just get your stuff out, be a bit stabby towards your choices without fear of consequence. It's all a bit of fun.

regmcfly

Invisible lines triggering events.

TheDJR

QTE's which seemed to have come back with a vengeance for a while.

Final Fantasy - How many times can Square Enix break my heart?

regmcfly

Actually my big one is

microtransactions in £40 games

Absolutely does my nut in. I'm okay with DLC, and will go as far as car packs or wotevs in Forza etc. But that particularly malicious brand that ruined the otherwise sublime joy of FORZA Horizon, FIFA, Dead Space Et al gets on my nerves in a full price game. I know it's optional. I know that. It doesn't make it any less insidious and shameful.

Worst thing? It's not going anywhere

Tempy

Will have to take umbrage with the rougelike thing. Although it's a shitty term it's a handy byword for a certain tpye of game and it's either that or the far more annoying "oh man it's like Dark Souls y'know?"

adored

Top thread lanky.

I want an end to obscene prices for download versions of AAA titles.

Menus with a slight delay (EA are usually the worst)

Loading times can fuck right of as well. GTAV, you're amazing, but go fuck yourself.

regmcfly

Also, great thread idea. Edge could have made a whole issue with online/offlines on the current chats going on in this forum.

regmcfly

Tempy wrote:

Will have to take umbrage with the rougelike thing. Although it's a shitty term it's a handy byword for a certain tpye of game and it's either that or the far more annoying "oh man it's like Dark Souls y'know?"

Wait I thought rogue like meant random? Like Isaac. Dark Souls is as methodical as it comes, right?

Tempy

Yeah but people are real fucking lazy.

regmcfly

I c

adored

Nah, more the super hard, instadeath kind of thing, doesn't have to be random.

Deep Down(working title) will have rogue-like spunked all over it however.

regmcfly

It is not better to say " a game where shit is random"

Webbins

Micro-transactions - or at the very least their presence in full retail games, and their aggressive marketing in F2P games. I have paid full whack for your game, the fuck do I want to have to wonder if you've artificially fixed it so my progress/experience is any lesser because I refuse to throw more money your way. Keep IAP to F2P, and even then, chill out with the subliminals.

Collectables - feathers, flasks, tags, pigeons... pointless trinkets always seductively attached to an achievement or trophy. If you want me to explore every inch of the game world, make it compelling, make your story lead me to all corners of the world.

afgavinstan

"Indie" Gaming Coverage - "So this is the new procedurally generated F2P robot pirate racer from The Guy That Brought Us Howlin' Doooooo 2. Get hyped!"
Um... What? I don't know this guy, and I don't want to get hyped you mincing fuck. Show me his Edge 10s, eh?! SHOW ME!

I_R

Drifting in racers. No one asks for this, I'm not even convinced it's an actual thing, but developers love shoe horning this shit in.

The DLC season pass. This is making gamers look like suckers. Here's an extra £20 for the DLC for the game that people will have stopped playing by the time it appears.

regmcfly

Webbins I'm with you on the first, but I got all 900 notes and all 100 jiggys in Banjo Kazooie BEFORE finishing it

adored

To be fair, Sleeping Dogs got the collectables thing spot on.

Olimite

Agree with the Season pass thing, for sure.

Only thing that springs to mind right now is games that make you keep playing long after the conclusion of the main act in pursuit of that last achievement. As wonderful as they both were, Rayman Legends and Lego LotR are both guilty of this.

adored

Oh yeah, day one patches, fuck 'em.

(Obviously the Bone and Quattro will both need one.)

Olimite

I'd say patches in general. Your game should be ready to ship. They never had such problems before.

acemuzzy

Avatars of people's actual IRL faces

Tempy

regmcfly wrote:

I c

I expanded on this but I have really shit internet so it died.

Basically as adored has said, Roguelikes are notoriously tough because they have random elements and quite frequently you lose everything when you die. Dark Souls is hard, and you loose stuff when you die, Dark Souls is more popular as it is the bestests games evers, so it is frequently referred to in regards to roguelikes even though they have very little in common with each other apart from being hard.

As "roguelikes" essentially descend mechanically from the game "Rogue" it's a fine term when applied properly, IMO, plus the more accessible ones such as Isaac, Rogue Legacy and Spleunky are a good deal of fun.

Sowwy gab, gud thrid. Rily.

afgavinstan

Thanks Tempo, I just didn't know what it meant, hence my Lucille.

Webbins

adored wrote:

To be fair, Sleeping Dogs got the collectables thing spot on.

Too true, I revert to a guide if I must collect them all so revealing them on a map is an excellent compromise.

tigersgogrrr

Shiren is a roguelike, for example. Permadeath & random dungeons are the important parts, for me. Dark Souls is a cousin of sorts due to the level of permanent consequence actions have, but it ain't all there. Not for me.

I'd like to say GET TAE to launch day DLC.

Olimite

Perks. Don't make the better players even more powerful, for the love of god!

Tempy

afgavinstan wrote:

Thanks Tempo, I just didn't know what it meant, hence my Lucille.

I am the Lester to your Michael

Brooks

Most things.

Kow

Shooters, racing games, cover and shoot games, platformers, sims, rpgs, fantasy settings, space games, indie games, multiplayer, GTA games and Killzone. They can all fuck off.

equinox_code

regmcfly wrote:

Invisible lines triggering events.

I don't really see what's wrong with this. Sure, it can be done badly, but it's also sort of useful

Kow

Oh and games with stories too.

Howdy, Stranger!

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