fullspectrum wrote:I'm doing it tonight.
SpaceGazelle wrote:
Dark Soldier wrote:I am having chicken bites, of such a variety:
"Sat in the homely surroundings of Dark Soldier's living quarters, I found myself sat on a rather comfortable leather settee, with the table, of which I knew had been bought at MATALAN, at perfect height for such a meal. With my back arched, knife and fork ready, and two round of buttered bread, the chef himself (always a nice touch) presented this new, I dare say wondrous, recipe.
Served on a plate, again from MATALAN, of putrid yellow colour, the beans had been lovingly chucked over the perfectly cooked, high quality chicken bites. I instantly looked up, gave him a wink, and tried to hold back my excitement. Sliding not one, but two chicken bites and a varied amount of beans onto my fork, I sniffed at it as if a dog in heat enjoying the outstanding aromas of a female dog's anus when in heat. Instantly I could feel somewhat of a, how you English say, 'lob on' forming, and my trousers began to rise. I opened my mouth wide like a spacker attempting opera, and banged it into my salivating mouth.
At first, it felt like beautiful, delicious slodge, but as the flavours began to spread, and form, and I dare say dance, my eyes began to form globules of water, or as the common man says, I weeped like a small child after Jim fixed it. The sheering audacity of the spicing in the Southern Fried crumb hacked through the homely delight of Heinz Baked Beans, smacking my sunken, heroin cheeks into submission, They honestly felt liked they'd been put through several hours of hard bondage at a Soho S&M dungeon.
After swallowing, quite gracefully I may add, I had to restrain myself from just sticking my skeletal face into the dish and wanking onto my thigh. I dare say, all my years of expertise and training could never have prepared me for this. I won't dare allow my father to taste this stunning piece of culinary artwork, for theres no dubt he'd chuck himself of a cliff whilst screaming "I'VE LIVED A GOD DAMN LI-" at which point he'd be cut off as his brains splatter on the rocks below like soft strawberry jelly.
10/10!!
Also Jay Rayner is a cunt and MATALAN is brilliant!"
n0face wrote:
fullspectrum wrote:What happens if I rest this thing for 24 hours?
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