Press Garden was the only duffer in Mania imo.

100. The Callisto Protocol - PS5 (7hrs 30mins)

It was easy enough to gather that this one divides opinion.  I've seen a [5] in print (Edge), I've read a [10] or two in this thread, and general feedback on here/online seems to bounce between 'clunky and outdated' and 'streamlined beauty'.  Luckily for me, I was hooked from the first session.  There are various less than stellar elements at play here (more on those later), but the visuals, linear gameplay and brutal combat combine to put this in the good old 'just the ticket' zone for me.  Perhaps playing it immediately after a pathetic attempt to enjoy Cyberpunk 2077 helped, but this sort of thing does tend to appeal to me more often than not.  I never thought Hellblade needed an open world, for example, and there are half a dozen similar-ish experiences in recent years.  Naughty Dog's output is basically still ultimate form funnelled high gloss PS3 gaming, for example - even TLOU2 mostly tasked the player with pushing forwards through prescribed checkpoints in its playable sections.  I don't like getting lost in games, and I've never been keen on wondering where to go next.  So the likes of Ryse, Evil West, The Order, Ratchet & Clank: A Rift Apart, Hi-Fi Rush, Quantum Break, Kena: Bridge of Spirits and no doubt a few others I'm forgetting always seem to get my (clapping) seal of approval.  With rare exceptions I don't want anything pushing 20hrs, so a 5-15hr experience that gets the basics right will invariably float my boat.  Especially if it looks gorgeous, which this sort of thing often does (the graphics presumably get a shot in the arm from no-flab game worlds, as it's not like the devs don't need to worry about what might lie over yonder if there's only one path to take).  Callisto most certainly does look incredible, to the point where it might be the best looking current gen game I've played (and it's available on the older machines too!!!).  60fps in performance mode on a 1080p TV might not be everyone's preferred set-up these days, but there doesn't seem to be much room for improvement to my eyes - it looks phenomenally good.  There are four A's, as Jean-Luc Picard might say in the one Star Trek reference I refuse to stop using, and they've all been put to good use.  Except it's a AA a game at heart really, the third and fourth A's are just glitter and varnish.  It's complicated. 

The dodge heavy combat is a massive turn off for some, but I thought the anticipation of an attack followed by the left/right bobbing & weaving, coupled with the heftiest weapon bash this side of Undercover Cops made for a glorious mix of claustrophobic survival horror and genuine on-your-toes brawling.  I tend to avoid heavy weapons in games where there's an option of nippy vs weighty, but I appreciate a lack of choice if it works.  In Resident Evil games it sometimes feels like the zombies are trying to stop a pig in a passage (the pig being you), while the player shuffles around attempting to create space to line up a headshot, hoping not to have to fall back on an ironically dull and spoonlike knife, whereas in this your melee weapon is a bludgeoning battering ram that removes the bullshit from up close encounters and hits with the force of a truck.  Every. Single. Time.  The Punch-Out element makes you feel in control of the skirmishes and with very few exceptions over the course of the game (it gets a bit too hectic when you're surrounded), I really liked it.  I played it on easy though, after reading various complaints about the difficulty online, which I think coupled with the fact that I didn't pay £70 to play it helped me enjoy this far more than I expected to.  Having finished it in the breeziest mode though, I reckon it would hold up on the default settings (or higher, for the crazies).

It felt like a high-gloss third person Escape From Butcher Bay to me, which was a similarly gorgeous title from a now worryingly bygone era (it's nigh-on 20yrs old now, believe it or not).  There are missteps, chiefly the cheapness of certain enemy attacks (the surprise attack heads on stalks, wtaf), the nonsensical booby trapped chests and the frankly ridiculous limitations on inventory space, but nothing that chipped away at the overall enjoyment too much.   For what this sets out to do, which is provide the player with a visceral, stunning looking sci fi survival horror game that's not afraid to be almost totally linear, I thought it was very, very good.   The relatively brief runtime helped no doubt, but I had a great time as there wasn't enough runway for the campaign to drag.  It'll be a glorious addition to PS Extra or Game Pass whenever it eventually appears, but even at the £25ish it's available for right now it's a steal.  The plot won't do much for anyone with an affinity for Sci Fi - the goods smuggling/pathogen stuff has been done to death - but it hits its marks well enough, and thankfully the slightly-too-English-geezer didn't ruin it.  Even the numerous OTT death scenes weren't a turn off because they were all-the-way-up-to-MK11 levels of hilariously grotesque.  One particular killing where your character's head ends up concave due to repeated stomping was so extreme I had to laugh.  It's not a particularly forward thinking game - it more or less hits the ground roady-running and doesn't take much of a breather until the credits - but if you can handle a <10hr action sci fi non-epic with very little bloat then there's a good chance this will appeal.  If a sequel appears that follows the same format I'd probably consider supporting it near launch.  A very strong [8].

acemuzzy wrote:

Why do people keep enjoying shit games?

It's Moot.

Some of the stop/go stuff and monkeycat positioning was a bit clunky in places. Enjoyed it though.

101. Willow - Arcade (100mins)

The game's runtime is only 40 minutes or so, but believe it or not I put a fair bit of effort into getting to grips with this one.  Well, more than I usually do with a ROM dash anyway.  I actually gave up in disgust after reaching level 3 initially, but after consulting the internet - expecting to find plenty of videos highlighting its shitness but finding more that praised it - I decided to start again and really give it a good (albeit save assisted) go.  I still don't think it's a great game, but considering it's a movie tie-in released in 1989 most of its flaws are forgivable and I ended up warming to it quite a bit.

It's a very tidy looking Ghouls 'n Ghosts/Wardner hybrid that adds hack and slash stages and a second playable character.  The main problems are that it's disgustingly hard in places, the time limit adds an unwanted nasty streak and the Val Kilmer stages are poor.  Aside from that though, the Warwick Davis levels are decent enough once you learn them.  With the exception of the third stage, which opens with ridiculous bullet sponge enemies that throw projectiles with massive splash damage that really can't be avoided by traditional smart play - you really have to rollsafe by running straight through/past them and reaching the shop to replenish your energy rather than actually engaging.  Which is (Bilbo) bobbins.  It's also one of those games where you absolutely have to get the vast majority of the power ups to stand a chance of finishing it, but at least your upgrades remain locked after using a continue.  Not that you can credit feed to victory though - though not as dastardly as GnG in terms of spacing it runs on checkpoints that'll have you tearing your hair out in places.

This video sums up the worst two sections in the game for me, starting at 4.35:



I gave up at around 6.45 on my first attempt, but after learning that the best approach is to rush through I eventually made it to the checkpoint and beyond.

In summary then, I expect that this was a bit of a gem in 1989, but it's very difficult not to be hyper critical of it in 2023.  I think I'll settle on [3 out of 6], but there's leeway either way tbh.  An odd one.  By rights the double whammy of bullshit provided by the second half of stage 2 and the opening screens of stage 3 should have killed it, yet I don't feel like my time was wasted on the whole.  I doubt it makes the slightest difference, but I've still never seen the film, which presumably means I was doing the 80s wrong at the time.  

Hold on, you've never seen willow???

I tried nick, there's no helping some people.

I started the series because I thought Tilly would like it but realised it was rated 16+, which seemed a bit weird.

Moot_Geeza wrote:

I started the series because I thought Tilly would like it but realised it was rated 16+, which seemed a bit weird.

And now you can no longer watch it ever again.

The moral of the story is, buy DVD's.

acemuzzy wrote:

JonB wrote:

I should play Talos. I should've played it years ago when I had the time. No idea when I'll fit it in now.

On this specific point btw, can't Edge pay you to do a time extended or something, with the sequel looming?? I actually started it again recently and it's better than ever with performance mode bells and whistles.

£4 for Talos Principle in the Switch sale, £3 with points, so yes, I have bought that. Hopefully the performance will be OK.

(And look out for a Timex in a few months.)

Feedback on performance when you can pls. There's a chance I'd play it as a handheld game.

17: Streets of Rage 2 (Switch) 8/10

Loaded this up as I felt like playing a bit of SoR4 but leant my cart to my mate's son, who just got a Switch.  Was a bit worried it wouldn't hold up, and it is a little clunky and slow, but it's still got it!  Hits still feel like they really crunch, especially the lead pipe, and at this point it's always gonna be one of my absolute favourite looking and sounding games, can't be denied.  Glad to know I can happily come back to this every once in a while even if 4 is my go-to for this kind of thing.

18: Forza 5 Rally Adventure (PC) 5/10

This is more Forza Horizon, there's nothing wrong with it, I've just been getting diminishing amounts of fun from it since FH3.  I still like the big event races where it's all a bit contrived to look awesome, with like a jet flying right by you when you go over a big jump and shit like that.  But just the normal races and speed traps and shit, I think I'm done for a few years.  Maybe it could do with motorbikes or something.

19: Metal Slug (PC) 5/10

This is the first Metal Slug I ever properly played.  I hesitate to say I clocked it given the amount of continues I used.  No way could I have afforded to clock it in an arcade.  It would've been cheaper to get a copy of NBA Jam Tournament Edition on SNES back in the day.  In any case this is way too hard for me, and the stylish graphics were a bit let down by a heap of stutters.  Not sure if that's an issue with my PC or if that's how it's supposed to play but it was too hard when it was running smoothly, never mind the technical issues.  The shooting does feel pretty good though, and there's something about the cartoony graphics/horrific violence paradox it has going on.  I do have a few other Metal Slugs I've been not playing for years and I'll probably play them though, as you can get to the end in like half an hour, so you're done with it before the frustration really kicks in.

EDIT: Here comes a new challenger

20: Street Fighter 6 Adventure Mode (PC) 8/10

I forgot about this.  I was really dirty with SF6 because I brought the ultimate edition and didn't read the fine print.  So with that version you get the game, the first set of new characters to come out + some new outfit colours + some virtual currency.  Guile is wearing like a baby's denim onesey in this, but there's an alternate costume that's just his SF2 gear.  I thought that was included in the ultimate version, but no, you just get colours, not new outfits.  And the included virtual currency can't be used to buy outfits, you buy those with a separate virtual currency.  WTF they're on drugs.  

Conversely there's this adventure mode included and it's huge and generous.  You get new clothes in this version of the game by meeting win conditions and buying it with currency you earn by beating missions and shit, just like a normal game.  It is pretty much the silly bits of Yakuza but rather than having beat em up fights you have tournament fights.  The highlights are meeting the cast of the series, especially Ryu.  He has a mobile but doesn't really know what he's doing.  It's good light fun and made me smile more than once.  

For your character you get to pick a Street fighter's style but can swap in different specials from different fighters.  You can have a spinning bird kick and a spinning piledriver and shit like that.  There's probably ways to power game but it's mostly just fun mixing in your favourite moves into one character.  

Unfortunately this part of the game just doesn't look as good as the traditional arcade mode.  I guess they had to cut it down to get all the open world stuff in.  It ends up looking a bit like a switch port or something.  Not terrible but it's a bit off.  Also even though your character is, cosmetically super customisable, it has that thing where most of the clothes end up not fitting properly, or like your hear and ears poke through your hat, which is a bit of a let down.  

Still though there's like 20+ hours of goodness here and it really took the edge of feeling ripped off by the ultimate edition.  A huge improvement over SF5's famously lean single player content when it launched.

There's a fair chunk of it I didn't do as well, you could get 30+ hours out of it I bet.  Maybe better off with MK.

Lol, I'm in the same boat, I remember playing MK11 Aftermath and just having no clue which side everyone was on with all the double crosses, but still having a great time.  Love the template they've worked out for a fighting game story.

19. Blood & Truth (PS4) - 6hrs 

A light gun game for the VR set in a Guy Richie esque London. Plot and acting do the job, even though the accents lean in a bit to hard and come off a bit OTT from time to time.

This is a lot more interactive than Rush of Blood, which is the other light gun game for VR that I've played. It's has great use of the Move motion controls. Everything from reloading to opening doors is very well done. Movement is also handled well, with various points/routes highlighted when looked at, and selected with the push of a button.

It's not all great though, you get the usual motion control issues from time to time when the calibration just freaks out, and there's things like climbing ladders or doing monkey bars that work well enough, but is it really fun? Some of it just feels added in because it works, it reminds me a lot of the Wii era.

Anyway, it is a very good game and definitely a better experience than Rush of Blood, although I think I prefer that games simpler approach. Thing is though, being VR it's a very lonely experience, and nothing beats holding a plastic gun for these games. Give me Virtua Cop and a buddy in tow any time.

8/10

My list