Ahem.

Struggled a little with the tempo of it. There's times the amount of action means you have to really run and indeed gun, but then it has the cover stuff which rewards more patience. I love the look and feel of it though. Already a boss encounter that left a big grin on my face.

Had to bump down to easy cos I'm a baby, mind you.

Easy mode is fun, that's how I played it last time.

I'll keep an eye out Elf, bide your time and I reckon you could get that and Valfaris for about £6.

I must go back and finish that last boss

Cheers Moot that sounds worthy of a revisit. Does anyone know if it is only couch coop or is it online enabled. I've tried to convince a few mates to dip in with the price being so low.

125. Zombieland: Headshot Fever Reloaded - PSVR2 (4hrs)

VR lightgun shooter that keeps the gimmicks in check to an extent and mainly focuses on the good old fashioned shooting gallery approach. You carry a handgun with an inexhaustible supply of clips in your preferred hand, which is absolutely the main weapon, and a beefier back-up option with finite ammo on the opposite hip. Time can be slowed by performing a 'double-tap' kill on a Z - pop one in their cannister and it'll glow gold for a split second. Do their swede in with a second slug and everything slows other than the player for another split second, which also kocks in a combo counter for chained headshot kills. Any time spent in 'adrenaline zone' will be taken off your level time at the end of the stage, helping you move towards the coveted S rank. When you've cleared a room you move on to the next segment by looking at glowing 'go here' dots/door markers and pressing X to progress. This works fine, but feels a little unnecessary until you reach the final stage (which has branching paths, but was apparently only added in an update along the way). For a game with a strong emphasis on speedrunning for replayability it felt odd to insist on manual navigation at regular intervals, but it certainly wasn't ruinous. The final stage - the Zombie Invitational - has multiple routes and a boss at the end, and despite the fact that it was added for the reloaded rerelease (AFAIK) it's a quality little cherry on top of an already decent package. You have to pay to enter, and I managed to get through just before running out of loo-rolls (the in-game currency). There's also a gun range for practicing various specific things, but the machine gun speed range is bullshit as your bullets spread all over the place, which resulted in umpteen failed attempts followed by smashing it with a few seconds to spare because luck. I didn't bother with that mode afterwards; perhaps that was just a blip.

Each stage has a checklist of tasks to tick off (survive, complete within a par time, only use a specific weapon, shoot the parrots and so on) with subsequent stages gated behind a not-too-harsh achievement tally requirement. There's a B-side version of each main level too, with different layouts/checklists. If you're struggling you can assign certain perks (up to three at a time), and upgrade the various guns at your disposal. It all works, and although there's not a ton of content on offer it's pretty good value for <£20 (£13 for those with PS+ in the current sale, £16 without). The more I played the more the basics grew on me,

I'd read some good things on this, and most of the praise is spot on. If you're happy with a bitesize experience it's a banger. Pistol Whip is a better game, but this is a better lightgun shooter if you're no-scoping for new old school feels. Plus the Woody/Emma Stone impressions from the stand-in actors comfortably clears the admittedly low bar set for that sort of thing. [8]

Zombie Revenge was a game I made myself love after getting it on import. Like, I've spent this much so I'd better get my moneys worth. But you're right, it was extremely ropey.

Fun fact: the first boss I think has a line in broken Engrish that sounds like he's saying "tiiiiiime rapist" and a wee hand movement, something me and my friend did for years to each other.

I got a bit bored by it after a while. Too much needless clicking to advance story/dialogue when I wanted more cooking stuff.

That said, I will go back to it to finish off the story to see how it ends.

Oh I was quite the opposite with Unpacking. Everything needed to go back into the right place, as colour-coded as possible!!

I have my kids with me at the moment so I'm spending more time on the computer. I downloaded and played through 'Cats Hidden In Italy' - a hidden feline game which tickled my fancy. It's only really got one level (with a time trial mode tacked on) but it tickled my fancy.

They meow

129. Sega Rally Championship - Sega Saturn (15mins)

A test really, but they all go in because why not - my polygonal drivatar was on the podium at the end of the Lakeside track.  I assumed Saturn emulation on the Anbernic would be more miss than hit for 3D games, but this runs surprisingly well for a console that's notoriously difficult for retro devices to mimic.  I see a lot of grumbling about FPS for tricksy older 3D titles - 'it's only averaging 42fps' etc.  The original port ran at 30fps though (perhaps less for the PAL release?), so if the 42fps was stable (which admittedly it isn't, although doesn't fluctuate too wildly)  that would be an improvement rather than something to complain about.  Of course I'd rather these games ran at a silky locked Lurpack 60fps, but if some of the 'Saturn is a bastard to emulate' stuff comes from unhappiness with low framerates I think some people might be misremembering the past - early 32-bit games often had appalling framerates that would have wobbled all over one of those Digital Foundry graphs.  Rally probably isn't the best game to raise this with though, as it was always smooth anyway and the PAL port arrived at the time Sega started taking a bit more care with regional releases (it was almost full screen, and arrived hot on the heels of Virtua Fighter II and Virtua Cop in which is probably still the most awesome Christmas period in gaming ever).  TLDR: This ran better than I was expecting on a relatively cheap handheld.

This is probably the only racing game I can think of where 3+1 tracks genuinely felt enough as a home game.  I loved it, and in some ways the Saturn conversion is the most impressive Model 2 port of the lot (also jostling for top 5 positions in terms of technical back patting would be Virtua Fighter II, Virtua Cop II, Last Bronx, Virtual On and Tecmo's Dead or Alive).  Aside from anything else the cars handled superbly, and I happily lost hours to it.  This was during a time when I used to watch replays in games too, and the post-run lookback was snazzy AF.  It even had an unexpectedly playable split screen two player mode.  Madness.  

There's not much to say about this that hasn't been said, it's a cracking game, and unlike many titles from the 32-bit era has a timeless quality that means it's still a blast to play today.  It still looks clean & chunky and the music is still a magnificent match.  There's an arcade pub near-ish me and the stand-up Rally is the only game I'm guaranteed to play if I go there for a drink.  The appeal of most of the rest of the (non light gun) cabs has worn off slightly, but Rally still beckons me whenever I go.  Watching the lass who used to work there smash through the whole thing with nonchalant near-perfection was quite something.  As a contemporary game it would've been a 94% or something, so I see no reason to meddle with that today.  Up there with Sega's best ever games.

130. Tiny Thor - Switch (9hrs 52mins)

Tiny Thor, massive chore

Abilitiy spoilers contained within.

I was looking forward to this one. DS described it as the most me looking game ever and he's not far wrong - all I needed was some reviews landing at 8 or above and I was ready for launch/lift-off. Nintendo Life weighed in with a mid-morning 8, so I stumped up £16.75 day one, despite that website having a dodgy track record with platformer reviews (9/10 for Demon Turf Neon Splash? JFC, give yourself an everlasting headwobble). I got the first 5 levels under my belt on my first evening session, and switched it off with a general feeling of 'so far so good'. The graphics are lusho and the music seemed decent, plus it wasn't long before I'd unlocked a double jump, which made the movement feel a little better. Over the course of the next few days the rot started to creep in though. Generally speaking, the more abilities you get (after the first hour or so), the worse it got. So it was more or less okay with just a hammer and a double jump, but by the time you can wall jump, dash and create platforms too the whole thing had shat almost the entirety of the bed imo, then bumshuffled the wet bits deep into the fabric.

My biggest complaint is that it's just not much fun once it gets difficult. When legit checkpoint platformers punish you, the AAAARRRGGGHHH treads a fine line between full-bore addictiveness and absolute bore anguish. I'm happy to willfully self-flagellate with the likes of Super Meat Boy, Celeste, the End is Nigh, Ori in the Blind Forest or (come at me bros) Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze, but if the task at hand is exacting then the controls have to back it up. When they don't, you just get hair pulling, neverending tedium that's only ever met with a sigh of relief at eventual success, rather than a trimphant Bastion-on-Falkor air punch. I think it's fair to describe the entire back half of Tiny Thor as tedious at best, and disgraceful at worst. The screen does a terrible job at keeping up with the main sprite, which should have been an early warning sign of carelessness really. How long has this been in development again? Since 2014? I'm not sure how many people worked on it, and I'm reluctant to dev shame because people dont seem to like that kind of talk, but if the team responsible consists of more than one person I reckon someone should have clamped down on the troops. More hammertime, less breaktime. It's OK though, because they put a cake recipe and a joke in the end credits, the zany scamps. Why did Thor borrow Odin's hammer? Because he wanted to ragnarok 'n roll, apparently.

Remember the rings in Sonic The Hedgehog, and how they'd ping out of your sprite if you got hit in the 16-bit versions, giving you a few seconds to collect at least one which provided you with a single layer of protection? Thor sort of has a similar system in play but instead of rings that scatter sensibly, picture that cheese rolling thing where locals chase a wheel of cheddar down a big hill, but instead of cheddar it's a joke shop jumping bean that's weighted in a way that makes its bouncing patterns completely unpredictable. It's an absolute nonsense - if you get your shield knocked out of you (which takes one hit from anything that doesn't kill you immediately, not that there's any consistency to what does and doesn't) the heart bumbles away like a slice of chaos theory. To make matters worse, I'm sure there's a hidden troll code in there that makes it deliberately bounce away from the player just as they're about to collect it. Honestly, with shit like this ingrained in the core mechanics it's almost impossible not to lose heart :eyes:

Once you get the aforementioned double jump/dash/wall jump abilities the game moves away from pure platforming and heads towards a sort of puzzle platform no-man's land. The reup on the double jump (terra firma) and dash (I think double jumping and grounding Thor reset this, but I could be misremembering) mean that a vast number of checkpoints contain almost no free-form possibilities whatsoever. You either execute these moves in the prescribed order or you fail. I had to look up a route solution on Youtube at one point. For a fucking platformer! Speed runs on this would be about as dry as it gets I reckon, and also infuriating due to the delay on the hammer throw/wall jump and general sometimeishness of the controls. These games should be judged on their tougher moments far more than their opening beats imo, ergo the whole thing is a rotten, amateurish affair. I love the videogame toolmaker's deep dive on the glorious stage design in Tropical freeze, which I occasionally post when that game cops some heat. I don't tend to approach what I play on such a deep level, but I reckon I could make an antithesis of sorts focusing on this game instead. Case in point: There's a bit with a moving platform where if you miss your jumping off point, which is easy to do as it immediately moves back along the tracks when it reaches the end, it proceeds to trundle you back through the level. So you have to sit there for roughly 2 minutes while it goes all the way back to the start, then all the way back again. Garbage. Sometimes you die from pulling off necessary moves too, like the stomp which occasionally inexplicably borks you whether you're carrying a bouncing heart or not. Moving hazards just roll on a loop for checkpoints too, which is a no-no for anything approaching masocore platforming imo. Schoolboy stuff - all moving parts should reset to a precise moment in these things, to at least suggest an element of finesse to the sections. To make matters even worse the checkpoint plinths themselves are often placed in awkwardly tucked away places, so you can't just launch off and get going (which again should be considered absolutely essential for a checkpoint player-killer like this). There are shops, but the trinkets available don't help as much as they should, and you have to beat 80% of the stages to even reach the third one.

On the plus side other than the input lag/slight delay on certain actions (which may be a design choice, but if so it's a shit one) it runs flawlessly and didn't crash once. Cards on the table, this defeated me at the penultimate hurdle. I had to turn a few assists on for the stage where a ghost is chasing you because a) it was fucking awful and b) I don't think I would have got through otherwise. It's the only level that offers zero hearts, iirc, so I actually got much further on my first go, given that I entered the level carrying a heart, than I did on the 20th go before throwing the towel in and effectively cheating. Again, bad design - progression shouldn't come down to leaving a stage and restocking, then repeating the process if you lose the shield, which would have been the only way I could've feasibly seen myself succeeding without a helping hand. Aside from one horrendous phase I thought the final boss was quite good on the whole. Horrifically difficult of course, but it did begin to click after about 30 minutes of demoralising failure and I eventually bested him fair and square. The bosses aren't terrible in this, but they're mostly either too hard, too easy, too annoying or go on for too long. On that final point, almost every level in this was unnecessarily lengthy. One of them took me 46 minutes to push through, so they couldn't even get the dangling carrot of short snappy stages right.

It's the gaming disappointment of the year for me, there are tons of better platformers out there on storefronts that most people haven't heard of, and they won't set you back a near-Chalice either. A Tiny [4], given that it's now one of my least favourite games ever. How would I improve it, you ask? I'd start by overhauling everything other than the splendid audiovisual design. Maybe 35% of this is fine, and I can't deny that fun threatened to break out on occasion, but for the most part this was a hugely frustrating monotonous slog, which basically proves that it sucks as it was effectively designed with players like me in mind (it's a 2D trial and error rote route learner pretending to be from 1994).

It's probably the best bit of the game.

131. Top Hunter: Roddy & Cathy - Neo Geo CD (1hr)

Side scrolling 2D beat 'em up with two channels running through most of the game that the player(s) can hop between at will.  I'd only heard of this thanks to a Neo Geo round-up video I watched a few months ago, where it received some enthusiastic praise.  Whilst not outstanding I thought this was a wonderful way to spend an hour, and had plenty of fun credit feeding my way through with Tilly.  It's fairly basic, albeit with a twist, but it looks lovely, doesn't outstay its welcome, has a silly name and isn't as intent on demoralising scrubs as the likes of Metal Slug.  Exactly the sort of thing I hope to stumble across when spooling through overwhelming romlists. [4 out of 6]

  

132. Fighting Force - PS1 (80mins)

Well I never.  I was looking forward to this when screenshots started to surface in magazines.  Production for this started on Saturn (I even had a video of an early build from somewhere) but much like Tomb Raider II the Sega version was scrapped as the Playstation started properly accelerating away from the competition at this stage of the console war skirmish.  At one point this was due to be a 32-bit Streets of Rage, fact fans, but Core had seen too much success with the Playstation version of Tomb Raider to limit themselves to exclusivity on a rapidly dying console.  As I was still strictly a Segaboy at the time the unceremonial binning of the Saturn version meant that the game was instantly dead to me and, given that I was also a little knobhead I was chuffed to bits by the middling/poor reviews it eventually received pretty much everywhere and never bothered playing it.  Scrolling beat 'em ups were old news, and transposing the genre to a polygonal playground did nothing to convince the magazines that games like this had any part to play in the future of interactive entertainment.  In case you haven't guessed, the 'well I never' at the start of this paragraph is there because I actually quite liked this.  It's favourably comparable to Zombie Revenge in a few ways, which surprised me.  They were both released within the space of two years (1997 and 1999, taking the arcade release of the latter) but the industry was in such an astonishingly fast rate of progression/evolution at the time they arrived light years apart really.  Which possibly means I found myself giving this more leeway in terms of appreciation.  It's even more simplistic than Zombie Revenge, but I'd been led to believe that the later game was decent and this was shit, whereas in reality the earlier game feels more impressive and playing through Revenge (also for the first time) recently felt a bit meh.  Neither is as good as a good old 2D belt scroller, but both can still be enjoyed by two players happy to rinse & repeat some basic brawling.  I'm sticking this in the 'unfairly derided' pile anyway.  

Technically I thought it was quite impressive for the time.  It wouldn't trouble a list of the best looking PS1 titles, yet it's pushing plenty of reasonably attractive polygons around, especially in co-op mode, at a smooth framerate and with nifty draw distance on occasion.  Music is good, as it always was with Core games from the era, and with multiple routes through the game it wasn't the VFM swindle you might assume either.  Being pleasantly surprised might've skewed my judgement here, but I didn't mind plodding through this solo and I reckon it would've been a blast to rent at the time.  It strikes me as one of those games that the gaming press dislikes that a lot of people who spent their free time playing games enjoy - working in EB/Game for couple of years made me appreciate the popular word-of-mouth everyman games a little more, rather than considering an Edge rating out of ten as the hallowed gospel truth (they gave this [6] btw, I checked - so they liked it more than most publications at the time).  

As 32-bit 3D scrolling beat 'em ups go it's not too far behind Die Hard Arcade.  Look, the playable character designs are crap and there are some dumb decisions like how long it takes to pick up anything heavy, plus the jump is practically useless, the delay on the grab is huge and there doesn't seem to be a reliable way not to trade blows with enemies if they decide to soak up your hits, but this was genuinely kinda fun to play through.  It also fits loosely into my narrative that simplistic 32-bit games (and beyond) tend to have aged better than ones that pushed things forward at release, ergo some of the stuff that was considered poor when contemporary is a much better fit to take a look at decades later.  74% 

I love fighting force back in the day but have very little memory of it to be honest.