No, I gave up cos it was a shit game.

'Clocked it m8' > completed an Elf game under exam conditions. Credit rolls are my ham wraps.

Wariospeedwagon wrote:

I'm still pretty dirty Virtua Racer apparently didn't do real business on the Switch - was really hoping we'd get budget remakes of the bulk of there arcade games after that, but nope! 

Same, proper gutted.

The Sega Ages line had so much potential but all we ever seemed to get was the same handful of MD. I mean who really wants Columns again?

180. Double Dragon Advance - GB Micro (1hr)

Not a series I'm overly familiar with.  I borrowed the Master System port of the original once or twice as a kid (greatstuff, but I didn't love it as much as Vigilante), played a stage or two of a NES sequel with retroking and maybe three screens of Double Dragon Neon on XBLA before deleting it.  Other than that I think this cart is my only other exposure to Billy & Jimmy.  I've had it for years, but I can't remember if I ever played it for long.  

It seems to be in with a shout of being considered the definitive version of the original; there's plenty of forgotten gem chatter online if you look for it.  I played while squinting at a GB Micro on my commute this morning and it took me two full goes to get to the end (even on easy, with 5 lives and 5 credits) as stages with holes in them can chew you up pretty quickly.  Jumping with the shoulder button is awkward, but I had a good time with it for the most part.  Bosses can be a bit disappointing - I'm sure on one occasion a purple version of four guys I'd just killed swaggered out of a door to the boss music.  Weapons are probably more deadly in this than any other scrolling beat 'em up I've played, with the double tonfas able to dish out a ridiculous amount of whoop arse.  Plus it has NUNCHUCKS for a +1.  Overall it's decent.  If it was a GBA release with no history it probably would've been a [6] or [7], but as a spruced up retro release it's probably an [8] for the era.  Ergo I give it 76%, thus making complete sense.  It worked in two player with a link cable I believe, which is always a bonus.       

181. Eastward - Switch (18hrs 25mins according to the in-game clock/20+hrs according to the system clock).

*Cheek Puff*.  Thank Christ that's over.  I've been plugging away at this for weeks.  It's a Ghibli-ish early 90s action RPG homage with a sort of mystical steam punk vibe and an art style that's extremely easy on the eye.  I think classic JRPG fans had high hopes for this pre-launch, but reviews were mixed/lower than I expected.  Some folks still went potty for it, plenty seemed less impressed (JonB 3/5, for example).  Having finally played it I'm not surprised it didn't set Metacritic alight - the vibrant world, neat little touches, mostly great soundtrack and stunning animation curry favour but can't disguise the fact that the actual game underneath is a bit of a drag.

The main protagonists - John and Sam - seem like a typically weird JRPG take on Joel and Ellie.  Except John is mute (of course - and for no apparent reason), and Sam is the moral compass that tends to point to naive kindness.  John's not mad mute in the 'doesn't say anything but no-one bats an eyelid' Link mould; he's known as the chap who never speaks, which NPCs occasionally mention.  I don't think we're treated to any sort of back story about an event that triggered the silence - he just seems to have voluntarily sent everyone to Coventry.  "What are you talking about?", Sam says to him at one point, even though he clearly wasn't talking about anything, which suggests even the devs couldn't be bothered to go all in on the mute hero trope.  Top of the list of other bizarre exchanges are any scene with an early game character called Uva, who seems to fall in deeply love with John after two or three totally one-sided conversations and a hook up rejection.  Barmy nonsense.     

The main problem - aside from the ceaseless weak dialogue - is the fact that the quest feels like it's made up of disparate elements bashed together. There's an interactive careering Jeep section maybe a third of the way through, but it's utterly pointless and no fun.  None of the minigames are worth their salt (salt is the in-game currency, see?), and nothing added to mix things up seem to result in much more than shoehorned variety.  Character swapping for the combat and puzzles is tedious.  The puzzles themselves are dull, with no ingenuity to any of the solutions, so they just feel like pace breakers.  Enemies respawn every time you return to a screen and often drop on your head/materialise inches away from you, which is obviously annoying.  Battles are just button smash stuff in dire need of a roll move and there's no flow to it - the melee literally plays like a mid-level 16-bit Zelda clone, and it also wins the award for the least satisfying shotgun in any game ever.  Whatever approach you take for baddie bashing it all becomes a chore quite quickly (in a game where nothing else seems to happen quickly).  I think the biggest problem is that every section outstays it's welcome and you end up craving the return of other elements that outstayed their welcome just for a change of scenery.  Dungeons getting tedious?  A waffle heavy fetch quest actually provides some respite.  After plodding around town for ages you find yourself begging for another monotonous dungeon though.  It's a disappointing loop.  And of course there's an instafail stealth section thrown in midway through, which might be a design masterstroke as I ended up being slightly more grateful to take my lumps afterwards.

I really tried to pay attention to the story - honest guv - and succeeded for maybe ten hours even though the dialogue is mostly bobbins from the start, but I threw the towel in during the 'Monkollywood' section.  A dozen monkeys with typewriters could've come up with a better chapter, and that was the point where I realised the plot was just doing random things for no apparent reason.  I couldn't hazard much of a guess about what happened in the back half of the game.  Stuff, basically.  A game like this should have a decent story to keep things ticking over, surely?  I thought that was the point of these text heavy JRPGs.  Especially considering the aforementioned weak combat and dull puzzles.  

It has a certain charm, much as I'm loathe to admit it.  I couldn't have suffered nigh on 20hrs of it without the charm.  It's a wonky charm though, and although I usually wrap up 6/10ish reviews by claiming I'm glad I played them I can't with this one.  I'm happy to play a two hour [6], but a 20hr [6] can fuck off.  Ergo It's getting docked a point.  I wish I'd played Crosscode instead, which had much better central mechanics from what I played, but I've shot my load with the genre for maybe half a decade now, which is a shame.  

This doesn't have enough redeeming features to be worth such a time investment imo, and even though it just popped up on Game Pass I probably wouldn't recommend many badgers check it out past the juicy gwffx.  Die hard trad action RPG fans might enjoy it, maybe.  If you exclude things I've played with Tilly (or head to head pinballing with the wife) this is the 6th longest I've played any game on Switch in over five years of hammering the shit out of the console.  I don't have many long games in me per year and this has left me feeling a bit like an Ian Beale gif.

There's quite a lot more I meant to say about this (performance issues on Switch for a start - it's another one of those games that doesn't like to be played for too long without crashing, and frame freezes regularly). Seven paragraphs and nearly a full day playing it is enough though!  A lot of work has gone into this but making a good game wasn't high enough on the list of priorities. [5].  I knew I wouldn't like it but I had to check (as once upon a time this was my favourite genre thanks to a triple whammy of Mega Drive GOATS), and it cost too much to write off.  

183. Steamworld Dig 2 - Switch - (4hrs 29mins)

An easy mode replay of an early gen Switch gem. The difficulty drop halved the runtime and made me feel like a SPEED RUNNER the way I smashed through it, which was perfect for a revisit. In an old 52 Games thread I wrote:

 

Classic_Moot wrote:

I only played the first game late last year, which I'd been deliberately avoiding for ages.  I did the first one on Vita, but I'm glad I caved in and bought this on Switch as I took my time with it at home, instead of racing through in 28 minute bursts (my commute).  End game clock said 8hrs+, which is roughly double the time I spent with Dig.  I'm probably done, but you never know.  They've done away with the procedurally generated stuff, which makes for a tighter quest but also loses a smidge of something.  This is a superior game, but only just, and I'd still recommend the first to anyone who may have started with this.  It's also far easier than the original - I died less, losing less money en route to the credits and rarely had to break a sweat during a nail-biting ascent to cash my stash.  Mining isn't such a risky business in this, and you're never too far from a warp.  The plentiful secrets are handled better though, and the new perks/Metroidy abilities are all welcome.  The music is memorable too.  I'm reluctant to give it a [9], because I don't think it is, quite, but I'm still placing it higher than a couple of 9's on my GotY list as I just loved playing it.  I'm gutted it's finished and wish the mine went on for an extra few miles. [8]

 

And that still feels about right (an 8 higher than two 9s?!).  I probably should have mentioned how good two particular abilities are and how they maximise the fun of movement 

and the secrets really are well hidden - almost every cave has two levels of treasure to find.  I'll mention the quality music again, and I guess I should admit that I don't really care for the visual style all that much.  No real complaints though, it's still a good'un. [8]

48: Puyo Puyo Tetris (PS5) 8/10

I'm always up for a bit of Tetris and need never play Puyo Puyo again (I've never gotten into it, am bad at it, but have played a heap of it for some reason).  This has a nice clean presentation and mixes up normal Tetris and Puyo games with all sorts of variables and crossovers.  I'm not sure if all of them work but the story mode maintains a freshness all the way through, since you never know what you're getting next.  

I didn't pay attention to the story.  There's a bunch or single and multiplayer stuff you can muck around with.

I don't really have much to say. 

49: Need For Speed Unbound (PC) 8/10

This is a pretty bloody good arcade racer.  It is probably most notable for looking like a regular open world racing game but with striking graphic effects and cartoon characters.  It's a unique look and a great one.  With that said, if you're gonna go this far, why not go full cartoon world as well?  I'd be up for it!  Mind you, it looks like no one is buying this half cartoon look, which probably answers that question.  This seems like it will be one of those Top 10 Racing Games YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF! things in a few years, which is a shame.  But the game does exist, and it's pretty bloody good, so we can be thankful for that at least.

It's a pretty typical open world racing game in that you drive to races and do your usual activities (jump off ramps, go through speed traps, drive into collectables and all that).  The more races you do the more cops will be after you, and if they catch you, you lose your winnings.  You go to safe houses to advance the day/night cycle and bank your money, upgrade/paint your car, buy new cars etc.  It's not a bad system but I can't lie, sometimes I just want to get on with the game and the cop chases wore out their welcome pretty badly.  I wouldn't have minded some option to turn the police off to just enjoy the open world a bit.

The actual racing is top fun as you would assume from a Criterion racing game.  Nothing you've never seen before with the drifting and nitro but it works great.  It's a lot of chaotic fun especially towards the end of the game with the faster cars.  

There's a decent variety of cars but it's a bit stingy with doling them out (and money to buy them).  It's certainly no Forza Horizon (with its Oprahlike generosity).  I bought the special edition too which came with a few cars and I'll be buggered if I noticed them (except for the A$AP Rocky car which I got near the end of the game and didn't drive).

It has a story but it's pretty bad or at least it is full of humour that doesn't make me laugh.  I listened to podcasts after a while.  It does have some pretty good music and engines sound good too.

This is a fun racing game with great unique graphics.

Didn't realise it was short. I hate collectathon platformers as a rule but an hour of it sounds fine. Will nab, ta.

It's about time someone pinched the beak fling from Odyssey. Downloaded.

186. Super Kiwi 64 - Switch (1hr)

Ha, this is actually decent.  Initial thoughts were KILL ME NOW because the camera is a disaster, but once I found the good old fashioned snap-to-straight-ahead button (and upped the rotation sensitivity) it was fine for the tasks at hand.  It plays like a cross between a post Mario 64 32-bit 3D platformer and post Mario 64 64-bit one, and absolutely nails the look of a slightly budget N64 game (minus the fog).  I did my time with imitators like Croc (the Saturn version, no less) and this is better than that, for example.  From what I can remember it's not a patch on the likes of Banjo or Donkey Kong 64 in terms of scope, moveset or depth, but I only played those briefly so may be misremembering.  Not that it matters because at the end of the day this is a nostalgia driven romp that launched at £2.69, and the run/jump/glide/beak fling core is genuinely fun once you get into a rhythm.  Nothing is too well hidden, it's not remotely punishing and there's not that much to find.  It's all over in an hour but if it had been any longer it would've crossed the diminishing returns threshold.  A solid and definitely worth playing [7] that knows when to bow out gracefully.  The music isn't annoying either!  Good shout reg.

I need to play it some more

Elf 7 = Moot 9, makes sense.

Never played it.

He's not wrong tbf.

This chap liked it:

https://uppercutcrit.com/mo-astray-endurance-is-its-own-reward/