I know Goober, Muzzy and I all play but is anyone else interested? If so I'll do a proper OP with advice and links etc. 



What is poker and why should I care? 

Poker is based on skill, which is why good players will win online without being able to glance at an opponent. It's fun yet deep when you get into it.

Can really I win money, like actually?

Yes. It's genuinely amazing how little players know but still play. You're not going to be able to retire but it's a nice hobby that'll pay for beers from time to time.

Fuck off!

No seriously, small cash players are mainly awful. You can and will make money if you have the discipline. Sometimes you can make quite a bit.

Do I need to be a savant to do this?

Nope, a few simple rules are enough to get you going but you're going to need some practice first.

How much is this going to cost?

$10 should suffice, and if it doesn't then you're never going to play with real money again. Unless you're on a stag do or something. If you blow this $10 then you're not to be trusted. This lark is not for you. I mean it.

Why so little?

Well for a start you can play practise games online for free, although despite the cautionary tone above I don't generally advise it. Playing with real money is different - there's more pressure involved, and you need to learn to manage this from the get go. 

The most important things to learn are patience and discipline with actual money, even if it's a tiny amount. And actual poker skills of course. However, there are non-practise games that don't involve any money. 

That doesn't make any sense.

Well there are tournaments that the poker sites let you join for free that can win you a ticket for another actual cash tournament. Say out of 1000 people that enter for free, the top 30 places will win you a ticket for another tournament. They might run this 3 times to get 90 winners in total. The 90 winners will then play together and the top 10 will win a ticket to take part in an actual cash tourney that others will have paid (maybe $1) to enter. 

That means I'll have to come in the top 10 out of 3000 people just to win entry to a $1 tourney!

Yes, but most of them will be shit. You might find you'll get knocked out pretty early at first (although might be surprised just how far you can get with the simplest skills) but as you get more disciplined you'll get further and further in these things. You'll start to learn stuff, like how the game subtly changes as you get to the last stages and approach the bubble (the bubble is the last unpaid position before you're in the money places), and when you've invested an hour or two getting to that point you will feel the pressue even though you've not put any money in. And that's the kind of practice you need. 

Sounds like it's going to take time I don't have.

Maybe, but you'll be amazed how far you'll get with the most basic skills. Think of it like playing videogames. Put an hour or two aside with some cold beers in the fridge when the kids are in bed and enjoy yourself. As you get better you'll understand more and enjoy it more. When you start getting good you can start playing in small stash sit and go's which are far less time consuming. These are typically tables of 6 or 9 (or they can be mini tourneys involving 60 or so) and you each put in a $1 stake. 

Typically in these small stake games the casino's rake (cut) is about 15%. Usually 1st (out of 9) will get you $3.80, 2nd will get you $2.30 and 3rd $1.60. Everyone else loses. Although luck plays a part you should be making the cut nearly all the time if not winning it outright. With higher stakes the casino's rake is less, but you'll be mainly doing these $1 games until you're placing top three 90% of the time. Then you can progress to $3 games, then $5, then $10 as your understanding gets deeper and you improve further.

What about pure cash games?

Avoid. In a touney or sit and go you only lose the entrance fee so you know exactly what's the worst that can happen. Remember, if you lose that intial $10 you're not allowed to play again ever. You will lose more, and more, and more. You've got $10 only and if that goes you're frankly a fool. Also, taking money off LidlLady and ArgosAndy (yes those were real people) gets a bit depressing and morally questionable.

Play the free tourneys first and if you make the cut you can start dipping into $1 sit and gos but avoid pure cash games. 

So where do I start in this minefield?

Well the hand rankings would be a good start.



Ok so what are the most basic skills I'm going to need to get started?

This.



You will be amazed how far this will get you. You'll not find anyone doing this at a $1 sit and go so you already have an advantage. Like I say, most people are really bad a poker, even those who play online for actual cash. 

We'll need to discuss other things like betting on the flop, all-ins and how to play them (don't) and other stuff like pot odds and position. Position is massively important and generally ignored by most.

So, who's interested? If you are say Aye and if enough people are up for it I'll go through some stuff properly, but only if people are interested. Maybe Muzzy and Goober can help?