OK, so you're not playing this - but I'm still thoroughly enjoying it.

The latest from my game: The Norwegian army have been spotted in Scotland and are due to arrive in the county of Atholl in 10 days. The fat Earl of Atholl looks unprepared for battle and will most likely be overrun - unless he calls for help from his neighbours. He'll get no assistance from me, mind, as the pair of us dislike each other. However, his brother is King Malcolm III of Scotland, which means any attack on Atholl will bring the King's armies into battle and war declared on Norway.

Meanwhile, I'm watching the action unfold from the Western Isles, where my Count has married a 39 year old French woman who likes to eat a lot. After two years of wedlock, there is still no sign of an heir - which is going to be trouble as my game will end unless a miracle happens. In better news, my spymaster and mayor - who both disliked me because of my slothful ways - have popped their clogs. The spymaster died from syphilis, while my mayor had been in a coma for three months before deciding to finally shuffle his mortal coil. I was planning on murdering him but this move saves me the bother. Hurrah!

So all is well, although I will undoubtedly be drawn into a war if things pan out the way I think they will - an act which will probably lead to my untimely death at the age of 26.

Great game. Definitely one of my favourites so far this year.

Crusader Kings 2 is currently on sale on Steam. It's £14.99 for the next few days. In fact, all Paradox games are on sale so I'm planning on buying Sengoku later.

I have heard of it. It would be lost on me as I know very little about Game of Thrones, though. It's a slow moving game but it's definitely worth a punt for £15 if you like the sound of it.

I've been playing this but I have very little ideas what's going on. I'm not sure my Irish province can take over Europe simply by attacking everyone.

I like the fact the game lets you set you own goals. I've been playing as smaller counties and countries and assassinating nay-sayers.  There are several good YouTube tutorials which really helped me understand what was going on.

Felt too guilty so I bought it on Steam. On sale at the moment for 12€ (about 10 of your silly British things), including all the dlc stuff.

It doesn't really have any graphics to speak of so it should run fine.

I'm assuming it's turn based too so I'm not fucking about with any wasd carry on? I've never used steam before. Exciting.

Yeah, it's not turn-based - everything happens at the same time. It's quite slow-paced, although you can speed things up.

Full game is only about 600.

Surely more interesting to play the middle ages than middle earth.

Yes, I know it's not.

Most definitely. I think I spotted a few on some crests, yes.

More people should play this, and then explain it to me

I'm playing the long game and boshing out kids all over Europe. Got 5 already and i'm only 30. Reckon there might be a few more incubating. 

Sent my first born son to be educated by someone who has high number next to their name who looked like a monk. I presume this is good. Also, my cousin's a scheming dick so he's been relegated to barman and has to bring me all my drinks.

I still feel lost.

The Idle Thumbs guys play games like this on my behalf.